Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
