my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
