Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So many bounce houses so little time
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
