oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
