? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
