Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
