i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
