No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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