I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
