eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
