you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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