i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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