I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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