there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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