Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
