she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
