Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
