driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
