I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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