in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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