I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You work out of a Hotel?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
