So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
