Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
