Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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