Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
