i love accidental penises.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
