i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
