Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
