I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
