he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
