Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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