I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
