I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
