Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Still dying that you shit outside
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
