420 ftw
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
