I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
