...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
