Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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