PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
