Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
