I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
