his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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