Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
