So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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