Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
