Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
