he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
