Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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