im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
