I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
