I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
