A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
